Sunday, September 28, 2014

Eh, It's a Start.

Family. It's no big deal, right? I came from one, you obviously came from one, basically, in order to be here everyone had to have come from a family. Or did they? The definition of family has started to change for some (notice I said some, not all), and it's impacting the way our society runs. So what is a family? From a religious perspective it's a sacred union between husband and wife who foster a safe and loving environment for their children where they can come to know God. From a societal view it is... well, that actually seems to be what we're so confused about. While writing that sentence I had to stop writing, because I couldn't think of an explanation for how society views families.

So how about this, what is family to me? Aligned with a religious perspective, I know family as being composed of a mother, a father, and their children. To avoid confusion let me explain further: a family starts with a husband and wife who have been lawfully wed; not a man and a woman who decide to live together. Did you know that between 60-80% of couples cohabit before marriage? That's an awful lot. Here's another something, children born to cohabiting couples are three times more likely to see their parents break up, as compared to children of married couples. Wow. Three times more likely! Children borne to married couples also have less instances of violence, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, and have higher grades in school, compared to children of same gender, divorced, or cohabiting couples, as well as single parents. But back to the couples, women and men who cohabit report higher levels of depression and much lower levels of overall life satisfaction than those who are married.
It's strange, really, that what used to be the average age for marriage has now been replaced for the average age of cohabitation. Many people are still getting married, they're just living together for a looong time before they do it, and guess what that means? Less marital satisfaction, less children, and less happiness in general. That's right, getting married younger can actually make you happier! Higher levels of happiness happen when you get married, but you're actually happier if you get married younger! Besides, getting married younger = more years of happiness, so why not get married younger? That brings us to our next point, that people now tend to see marriage as not a corner stone for you life, something you build the rest of your life on, but instead is being seen as a capstone to life. You avoid marriage as you get your education, after you get your education you tell yourself that you can't possibly get married now because you can't provide well enough, so you have to establish a career, and so on. Until you've accomplished everything you wanted to do in life and decide to top it off with a nice little marriage cherry on top. Whoa, people! Let's get this straight. You want to live half of your life alone, living a life of artificial and ultimately superficial tasks? Well that makes sense. Naturally.
So let's start figuring things out. Families are important, I'm just not sure we all realize why. So stick with me while a figure out how to adequately explain what I know to be true: families are the staple of our society, the foundation of our Heavenly  Father's plan for us, and if that's not enough for you, it's the ultimate form of love, of acceptance for who you are, and joy beyond measure. So take a chance today and give a little tender lovin' care.


Most of these findings were taken from Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of a Delayed Marriage, along with the documentary, A Demographic Winter.